Confession

My name is Tony. I'm 35 years old, am a flaming heterosexual and hate the taste, smell and sight of beer. The consumate baseball fan normally enjoys a hotdog and a beer. But alas I can not drink the mixture of marley, hops, oats and urine. I have tried to enjoy many beers. From Bud to Miller to Michelob to Rolling Rock to Heiniken to Bass to Guiness, etc. There is something in the beer, some horrible ingredient, that does not agree with my innerds.

Now I do enjoy a good strong drink with Vodka or Tequila. But it's not the manliest of drinks to be throwing back Margaritas at the old ballpark. Which I have done and had to stop in the 5th or 6th inning when I realized that I didn't know the score or the inning.

I look on in envy of my fellow men and women that drink beer at the ballpark. I don't envy the $6 to $10 that they pay but I'm sure it dulls some of the pain. Especially when you sit right next to the guy that has no clue about baseball. Yet explains it to his girlfriend for the entire game thereby making your head want to explode.

So next time you see me in the cheap seats at Turner Field raise your cup and salute me. For I am the one that is not drinking your share. And don't laugh when I raise my drink and the umbrella falls out of the cup.