In Which Rose Has Some Questions, Asked In The Form Of An Open Letter

Dear Mr. President,

Hi. Can I call you George? Well, really, it's my open letter, so I can call you anything I want. Hi, George!

It's no secret that you and I don't see eye-to-eye on most things. But if there's one thing we can agree on, it's baseball. I mean, you like it enough that you had part-ownership in a team for a while there, and I like it enough that I write for a blog. But if I had a few hundred million dollars in family oil money, I'd totally buy a team! And I wouldn't run it into the ground while I was at it!

Okay, cheap shot. I know. How were you to know that Sammy Sosa would turn out to be good?

So here we are, on the verge of the World Baseball Classic, and now it might not happen. Why? Because of Cuba. More specifically, because you and your administration don't like Fidel Castro. Oh, you can't remember why, exactly; something about forms of suppression and surveillance that you pretty much copied and elaborated in your interpretation of the PATRIOT Act. But that's an issue for another blog, and another cheap shot to boot. I'm really not doing myself any favors.

Anyway, you and your friends have decided that the Cuban national team shouldn't be given a permit to play in the U.S., and I think I know why. It's not because you have issues with the Cuban government.

It's because you're scared.

Yeah, that's right. You read me right. I'm calling you out. You're scared. You're scared of America getting its ass kicked fair and square. Hey, I can't say I blame you; I mean, the US couldn't even make the Olympics last time. That was pretty embarrassing. And who won that gold medal? Cuba. Who's going to win next time? Oh, wait, that's right -- there won't be any baseball in the 2008 Olympics. The WBC is a chance to show that baseball is at least as worthy of Olympic inclusion as, say, team handball, but this could shatter the international baseball community like... I don't know, like an over-used pitching elbow or something. I'm still working on the analogy.

Point is, for someone who claims to like baseball, you're not doing the sport any favors. Come on, dude. Everyone else can put the politics aside in their quest for world domination. Why not you?

Just wondering,
Rose

PS. Cuba has offered to donate any WBC proceeds to Hurricane Katrina victims. Wow, now you're screwing over a sport and your fellow Americans! How efficient!

PPS. Um, God bless America, o beautiful for purple skies, rah rah land of the free and home of the brave-ish. Can't wait to see the FBI file that's opened on me as a result of this. I'll get to work on that Freedom of Information Act request form right away. Smooches!

PPPS. Seriously, I'm working on that new design. Honest!