Let The Idiot Speak

Here are a couple of quotes that I just heard from a replayed radio interview:

"I'm not the smartest guy in the world."

"I was under the bus most of the time."

The speaker? Kenny Rogers, former Texas Ranger and current Detroit Tiger. Our D/FW all sports station, the greatness that is The Ticket, somehow acquired the audio from an interview that Rogers actually participated in on a Detroit station.

In the interview, Rogers was at his best. He was very soft spoken, demure even, and came off sounding like a very harmless person. After all, he is nothing but a soft tossing forty-something pitcher. However, he is also a lefty and lefties have a reputation of being a little wacky. Much of that stereotype can be attributed to former Expo and Red Sox pitcher Bill "Spaceman" Lee, because he seemed to love to perpetuate the myth until it became closer to "fact", but Lee might have been on to something.

(When I saw Kenny's attack on the cameraman, I was reminded of a scene from the movie 'The Jerk'. Navin Johnson (Steve Martin) is working at a gas station as a sniper takes aim at him from across the street. But the sniper keeps missing his target, instead popping bullets into oil cans. Finally, Navin exclaims "He hates these cans!" So when Kenny went nuts, I imagined notable local media members scurrying around the field shouting "He hates these cameras!" Hey, it could have happened.)

So what happened to Kenny Rogers that made him snap? What caused him to become a big bully, transforming from quiet guy (Bruce Banner?) into the Incredible Sulk?

Radio. Talk radio, to be exact.

In the above mentioned interview, Rogers kept obliquely referring to disparaging comments he was hearing about his performance (and, presumably, contract demands). "Untruths", he called them. The Detroit interviewer dutifully tried to make the pitcher get specific. "Well, we know what you did. What did they do?"

Rogers again tip-toed around actual moments that he could put into words. Instead, he said his "biggest mistake" was listening to the radio on his way to the park in the days leading up to the incident. And, again, he never mentioned a specific phrase, station, or "untruth" that set him off.

In other words, he is just an ass.

So let this be a warning to the Detroit folk: Don't fall for it. Don't think of him as the strawberry picking teenage shortstop drafted by the Rangers in 1982. Think of him as a guy who has continually made bad business decisions over the course of his career based on an inflated sense of self-worth. Think of him as a guy who cannot handle media pressure well. (Remember his New York stint?) And think of him as a guy, because of those bullet points, with a chip on his shoulder.

And hope that you do not have a camera on yours.

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Finally, here is something I would love to see happen, but it would have to be done by someone who has a very good chance of running into Kenny Rogers. If you are that person, and you don't mind schticking things up a bit, take heed because this is directed at you.

Carry a Duracell battery in your pocket at all times. Preferably a D cell, though a C would work, too.

Try to position yourself in a stable standing position as Rogers approaches. Place the battery on your shoulder. (Rolling up your shirt sleeves is optional.)

When Rogers nears, say "I dare you to knock this battery off my shoulder. I dare you."

And when you win your personal injury lawsuit? Please remember where you got the idea.

13 days...